Analysis: I Have Bronchitis Again and the World Is Ending, So That’s Fun

"And the beast was given a mouth uttering haughty and blasphemous words, and it was allowed to exercise authority for forty-two months." (Revelation 13:5)

It's February. I'm coughing up a lung, wrapped in blankets like a discount biblical shepherd. But this is no time for rest. The world is ending, and I've got a prophecy to investigate.

The Signs of the Times The technology exists right now to fulfill the most chilling end-times predictions. Brain chips that can be implanted in your forehead. A global digital currency that tracks every transaction. Surveillance cameras on every corner monitoring our every move. John the Apostle warned us over 2,000 years ago in the book of Revelation - these are the signs that the beast is rising.

The Mark of the Beast "Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name." (Revelation 13:16-17)

The implications are staggering. A totalitarian global government with the power to control the economy, to decide who can participate and who will be left out in the cold. Those who refuse the mark will be ostracized, unable to buy food or pay their bills. This is the stark warning from the Bible - we are staring down the barrel of the end times.

Timing the Tribulation But just how imminent is this prophetic timeline? The book of Revelation speaks of a 42-month period of tribulation before the return of Christ. Are we in the final countdown? The signs are accelerating, the birth pangs intensifying. We may have less time than we think.

The Call to Watchfulness "Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect." (Matthew 24:44)

As a Christian investigative journalist, I feel a sacred duty to sound the alarm. The world is asleep, lulled into complacency. But we must stay vigilant, ready for the imminent return of our Lord. The end is nigh - are you prepared?