Analysis: I Told You Elon Musk Was a Pervert

Buckle up, folks. The end times are barreling towards us faster than Musk's Hyperloop. New evidence has emerged that the tech mogul's family tree is rotten to the core, with deep roots in the occult. This isn't some conspiracy theory - it's a gut-punch of biblical proportions.

The Satanic Roots of Elon Musk

Let's start with the bombshell. Musk's own grandfather, Joshua Haldeman, was charged with treason and allegedly raped a teenage girl back in the day. The apple truly doesn't fall far from the tree. Musk himself was recently spotted at a Halloween party dressed head-to-toe in Satanic regalia, complete with an inverted cross and Baphomet sigil.

Now, the fanboys will try to tell you this is all just harmless fun. But students of prophecy know better. The Book of Revelation warns us about the rise of the Antichrist - a charismatic, technological leader who will seduce the masses. Sound familiar?

The Mark of the Beast is Here

Musk's obsession with brain chips, digital currency, and total surveillance reads like a roadmap to the Mark of the Beast. The technology is ready. All that's missing is widespread acceptance. And with Musk's reach and influence, he could be the one to usher it in.

Judgment is Coming

Make no mistake - we are in the end times. The signs are all there, from global unrest to environmental upheaval. And this Musk revelation is just one more piece of the puzzle falling into place. As watchmen on the wall, it's our duty to sound the alarm. The tribulation is coming, and the Antichrist may be closer than you think.