Analysis: I'm Not Allowed to Tell You There's Ice on the Roads

Brethren, I come to you today with a heavy heart and an urgent message. The end is near. The signs are all around us, as clear as the nose on your face.

Just look at the headlines. The Epstein scandal has torn the mask off the global elite, revealing a twisted cabal of Luciferian pedophiles at the highest levels of power. Hollywood, politics, finance - it's all connected. This is no isolated incident. It's a sign of the times.

The Bible warned us about this. In the book of Revelation, we read of a coming "mark of the beast" - a global system of surveillance and control. Well, the technology is here. Brain chips, digital currency, unprecedented digital tracking of every transaction. Just as Revelation foretold.

And it's not just the Epstein revelations. Look around - the world is unraveling. Rampant immorality. Nations at each other's throats. Extreme weather, earthquakes, pestilence. All the hallmarks of the approaching Tribulation.

As a watchman on the wall, I must sound the alarm. The Rapture is imminent, my friends. We are living in the end times. The coming of the Lord draws near.

Are you prepared? Have you given your life to Christ? The time is short. Repent now, before it's too late. For when the Tribulation strikes, only those who have made their peace with the Savior will be spared.

This is no idle threat. The prophetic timeline is clear. The birth pangs have begun. The Antichrist even now makes his move, consolidating power through global crises. Soon, he will rise to impose his mark upon the world.

Heed this warning, Church. The rapture could happen at any moment. Be ready. For the sake of your eternal soul, I implore you - get right with God. The end is near.